In a shocking development that absolutely no one saw coming, the Trump–Musk bromance has ended with a divorce distraction worse than Melinda Gates ‘finding out’ about her husband’s hot and heavy relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

Sources say Trump felt “betrayed” after Musk refused to kiss the MAGA ring for 2025.

Musk rebutted that, “Epstein made me do it.”

Meanwhile, Kash Patel, who permanently looks like he just saw the ghost of not-a-pedo Jeffrey Epstein, swears up and down there’s nothing to see here.

And, while the internet rage-clicked their way into oblivion, Palantir quietly signed a new $800 million contract with unnamed intelligence agencies to “streamline human insight extraction” — also known as predictive profiling for potential dissidents — also known as the Palantir “kill list”.

Palantir is what happens when tech bros are given access to everyone’s email, health records, and drone feeds — and absolutely no moral compass. Their mission: “Help governments make better decisions.”

Used by,

ICE (to hunt families and provide a MAGA-approved cover)

The IRS (to hunt your Venmo)

The Pentagon (to hunt… well, YOU)

Here’s a quick recap of what we’re not talking about out loud this week:

• Palantir is basically the CIA with a UX team flagging thought crimes in real-time.
• Your phone is currently ratting you out to at least three federal contractors.
• Your biometric data is now legally owned by a company named after a surveillance orb from Middle-earth.

All of which is probably slightly better than your body being changed into a controlled operating system owned by the Satan Pharma Trifecta of Pfizer (Lucifer), Astra Zeneca (Road To Death), and Murderna.

All of whom are working hard to roll out the bigger, better mRNA self-assembling deathspikes in a syringe. Adverse effects include STDs… Cancer… OR WORSE!

Like… zombies… ATOADASO!

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