In this episode of Be Truly Heard, Anne Leatherland is joined by speaker coach and sobriety mentor Gill McKay to explore what it really means to feel “comfortable in your own skin” and to speak from a place of congruence rather than coping. Gill shares how decades of high-functioning drinking, family pressure and a constantly activated nervous system left her out of alignment with who she really was, and how choosing alcohol freedom brought back self-respect, aliveness and a voice she could stand behind. She talks about the surprising stigma of sobriety, the hidden shame and bias around alcohol, and why giving language to taboo experiences can make others feel less alone.

Key Takeaways

What looked like “winding down” with a bottle of wine was actually keeping Gill’s nervous system flooded with stress chemistry. She had normalised living in fight/flight/freeze/fawn, all while juggling work, children and caring responsibilities. Removing alcohol allowed her nervous system to settle so she could move from merely functioning to genuinely living.

Gill was shocked to find she felt more shame as a sober woman than as a drinker, thanks to comments like “Oh, go on, just have one” and “You weren’t that bad.” She also uncovered her own hidden biases in thoughts like “I only drank wine, not vodka,” which quietly positioned other drinkers as “worse”. Examining these stories is part of healing shame.

Subjects like shame, secrecy, lying and addiction are often experienced in silence. By naming her own experience in her TEDx talk and in her work, Gill helps others realise it isn’t “just me”. Sharing your story in the spirit of helping can turn something painful into a point of connection and support.

Many experts have something important to say but get stuck when event applications ask for a speaker reel, professional photos and testimonials they don’t yet have. Speak and Shine was created precisely to break this loop: an immersive day where women can craft a talk, speak on a real stage, be photographed and filmed, and leave with assets that reflect their true authority.

Best Moments

“I knew that my congruence and alignment had returned when I started to like myself again… I could wake up in the morning just feeling me and feeling really happy being me.”

“I’d normalised the fight and flight and freeze and fawn under the auspices of drinking. I’d normalised that as a way to live, and it’s no way to live.”

“If I’m feeling shame and I’m sitting in my shame feeling really lonely, then surely by sharing my voice I will be helping others.”

“We wanted to provide a really safe, loving, very held environment for women who had something to say… so they could step into their own voice and share their message.”

About the Guest

Gill is a powerful speaker, mentor and educator who helps individuals and teams live and work in

true alignment. Her mission is rooted in empathy, inclusion and curiosity, guiding people to own

their voice and embrace their worth. Through her work as a sobriety coach and speaker coach, she

supports women in rediscovering who they are beyond alcohol and empowers them to share their

voice with confidence. Her TEDx talk, The Surprising Stigma of Sobriety, has inspired over 250,000

viewers worldwide.

Find out more: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gillmckay/

About the host

With over 28 years’ voice-teaching experience, Anne Leatherland helps clients progress quickly and achieve goals with confidence. Bridging science, education and the performing arts, she is a science graduate, qualified teacher and singing teacher with advanced training in voice practice, vocal habilitation and life coaching. As the only Vocal Process Associate Trainer, Anne mentors and trains other voice teachers. Her holistic, collaborative approach nurtures every aspect of the voice alongside personal growth.

Find out more: ​​https://anneleatherland.co.uk/