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EP 260 - Toni Harrison on Building R.E.A.L. Resilience: How to Stay Grounded and Grow Through the Grind
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In Episode 260 of Paper Napkin Wisdom, we sit down with Toni Harrison, the powerhouse CEO of Etched Communication, a nationally recognized communications firm. Toni brings not only decades of experience in high-stakes PR and crisis management, but also a deeply personal and refreshingly honest take on what it means to be resilient in business and life. Her napkin reads:
“Toni’s 4 Pillars of RESILIENCE (being R.E.A.L.):
Taking on the (R)igor
(E)mbrace experience
Discovering how to be (A)daptable
Employing (L)evel-setting goals throughout your professional journey”
This episode isn’t just a discussion—it’s a masterclass in sustainable leadership, personal grit, and the kind of grounded wisdom that comes from walking through fire and choosing to learn from it.
R is for Rigor
Toni opens up the conversation by challenging the idea that success comes from ease. "You don’t develop resilience unless you walk through something hard," she says. For her, rigor is not a punishment—it’s preparation. “Taking on the rigor,” as she frames it, is about leaning into the demanding moments, not dodging them.
In her words:
“Rigor is where your confidence is built. It’s where you prove to yourself that you are capable—not perfect, but absolutely capable.”
She reminds us that we can’t outsource that part of growth. The hard things must be met head-on.
E is for Embrace Experience
Toni believes that experience—especially the messy, unpredictable kind—is the greatest teacher. “Every high moment and every low moment has taught me something about who I am,” she says.
Rather than resisting difficulty or resenting failure, Toni encourages leaders to embrace the totality of their journey. “If we can own our story without shame,” she says, “we can show up in every room as our whole self.”
This is especially important for leaders navigating change or conflict. “You can’t communicate through crisis if you’re not in relationship with your own lived experiences.”
A is for Adaptability
Adaptability isn’t just about pivoting—it’s about expanding. Toni explains that true resilience includes the ability to shed limiting beliefs and embrace new ways of operating. “What got you here may not get you there,” she says, echoing Marshall Goldsmith.
She notes:
“Being adaptable means checking your ego at the door. It means being willing to ask better questions, listen more deeply, and learn differently.”
And perhaps most importantly, it means knowing when to let go of what no longer serves your mission.
L is for Level-Setting Goals
Toni rounds out her framework with a critical leadership practice: level-setting goals. “Sometimes we confuse motion with progress,” she says. Level-setting, for her, is about stepping back to align your effort with your true objectives.
“Am I still moving in the direction that matters most? Are these goals still connected to my values?” Toni suggests asking these questions routinely—not just annually or in times of crisis.
Her insight here is especially useful for entrepreneurs and executives: resilience requires recalibration.
5 Key Takeaways from Episode 260 – Toni Harrison on R.E.A.L. Resilience
Rigor Builds Capacity → Don’t shy away from hard things. Rigor stretches your limits and proves your capability. Take Action: Identify one challenge you’re avoiding. Commit to facing it this week, and journal what you learn from the experience.
Experience is Your Edge → Embrace the full arc of your journey—including failures. They’re your credibility. Take Action: Reflect on a past failure. What strength did you gain that you now use every day?
Adaptability is a Superpower → Let go of rigid thinking. What got you here might not be what gets you there. Take Action: List one mindset or behavior you need to evolve to lead more effectively today.
Level-Setting Creates Alignment → Reset goals regularly to ensure they align with your core mission. Take Action: Review your top 3 goals. Are they moving you in the direction of your most meaningful outcomes?
Being R.E.A.L. Leads to Authentic Leadership → Show up with rigor, experience, adaptability, and intentional goals. That’s where real influence lives. Take Action: Write your version of the R.E.A.L. framework on a napkin. What do you stand for?
This episode is a reminder that resilience isn’t a trait—it’s a choice we make every day. And Toni Harrison has given us a clear blueprint to follow. Whether you’re facing a storm or preparing for growth, the R.E.A.L. pillars will help you stand firm and move forward.
Now it’s your turn—what does being R.E.A.L. look like for you? Jot down your takeaway on a napkin, take a picture, and post it with the hashtag #PaperNapkinWisdom. Let’s build resilient leaders together.
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