You’ve probably told yourself, “I should be fine.” Maybe you learned early on that being easy to love meant needing less. But every time you swallow your needs, perform “fine,” or apologize for being sensitive, your body pays the price.

In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why emotional needs are not weakness—they’re your nervous system’s way of asking for safety. You’ll learn how suppressing your needs turns into anxiety, resentment, or shutdown, and why your body confuses needing connection with being “too much.”

Rachel explains how survival wiring makes self-abandonment feel like safety, and how practicing micro-moments of safety rewires that pattern. Using stories from her practice, she shows what rebuilding safety in relationships actually looks like—not as a performance, but as a practice.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink to stay loved, this episode will help you understand what your body’s really asking for—and how to meet yourself, and others, with compassion instead of suppression.

Key Topics Covered

• Why “I’m fine” is a nervous system defense
• How safety—not silence—regulates your emotions
• The connection between need, shame, and self-abandonment
• Over-functioning vs. under-functioning in relationships
• How to start practicing safety in small, nervous-system-safe moments
• What it means to rebuild connection through presence, not perfection

Resources:

Free Download: Break the Cycle- A Self-Paced Guide to Stop Reacting and Start Reconnecting

WA Residents: Want help working on your relationship? Contact Dr. Rachel in her private practice - www.meaningfuljourneycounseling.com