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INCOMPATIBILITY: GROUNDS FOR A GREAT MARRIAGE
Marriage Tune-Up | Part 1
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
February 23, 2025

#Realspringcreekchurch #springcreekchurch #marriagetuneup #marriage #healthyrelationships

The Reverend Billy Graham once said about his marriage, “Ruth and I are happily incompatible.” It’s an unconventional way of describing a powerful truth. What makes for a great relationship is not sameness but differences – differences that have been honed to complement one another rather than contribute to never-ending conflict. In this message, Pastor Keith will walk you through the four stages of a healthy relationship and what it takes to turn your differences into assets. You don’t want to miss this message!

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Although multiple studies confirm that compatibility is a non-factor in successful marriages, the mythology persists. Do you think compatibility is important? What reasons do you have for believing this?

2. We all begin at a fairly immature level of love and intimacy. As C.S. Lewis said, there is a sense in which all young love must die in order to give birth to a more mature and fully formed love. But he added that even though many have experienced the death of young love, far more have missed the rebirth. Which implies that many give up on love before it even gets good. What has been your experience with this? Have you ever experienced the death of young love? Were you able to move to a new level of loving with that person, or did the relationship die, too?

3. In the Four Stages of Intimacy that Pastor Keith addressed in today’s message, in present or past relationships, what level have you achieved? Did you ever find yourself stuck at a certain level and unable to advance? If so, why did you get stuck and what happened in the relationship? What were some of the biggest challenges you faced in making progress?

4. Differences both draw us to others and repel us. We are fascinated by those who think differently, feel differently, and act differently. There’s a definite attraction to it. But on the flip side, at some point in the relationship, those very same differences become irritant. Has this ever happened to you? During the grand reversal, how did that play out? Did you ever come to a point of resolution or acceptance? If so, describe what that was like.

5. Where would you say most of your friends and people you know fall on the four stages of intimacy? What was this like in your parent’s marriage? What about your spouse’s parents? Have you ever had a good model for healthy, mature love? If so, who was that person, and what did you admire most about their loving relationship?