This one is more raw, intense, and emotionally unfiltered than usual — because real healing rarely looks clean.

A late-night conversation between two brothers doing their best to stay present in the middle of real life.

It wasn’t planned. It started as a late-night hangout with my younger brother Jeremy and turned into one of the most honest conversations we’ve ever recorded.

Jeremy has lived through more than most people twice his age—eight car accidents, addiction, financial collapse, and the kind of fear that gets into your bones and never seems to leave. His nervous system runs hot. His thoughts move fast. He feels everything intensely. And for most of his life, he’s carried all of it alone.

But beneath all that intensity is a man who keeps coming back to one question:
What does it really mean to die to yourself?

In this conversation, we talk about trauma and the way it reshapes your body. We talk about fear, paranoia, and intrusive thoughts that feel like they’re trying to take over. We talk about gig work, exhaustion, fasting, sobriety, and the thousand small ways people try to numb their pain when life won’t let up.

Jeremy speaks in the language of faith—Jesus, the enemy, the fruits of the Spirit. I speak in the language of presence, ego, and mindfulness. But both of us are pointing toward the same thing:
letting go of the stories that keep you afraid, and learning to trust the moment you’re actually in.

Nothing here is rehearsed or polished. It’s raw, unfiltered, and deeply human. I edited out a few loops and darker tangents, but I left the heart of Jeremy’s voice exactly as it was: vulnerable, intense, and honest.

If you’ve ever lived in survival mode…
If you’ve ever been stuck in fear…
If you’ve ever felt ashamed of not being “farther along” in your healing…
If you’re running hot, tired, or spiritually burned out…

I hope this conversation meets you right where you are.

Topics include:

• What “dying to yourself” means beyond the concept
• Trauma, hypervigilance, and why your fear actually makes sense
• The cost of gig work and financial instability on the body
• Addiction, cannabis, sobriety, and numbing pain
• Letting go when you feel like you’re failing
• Heaven and hell as present-moment realities
• Intrusive thoughts and the battle between ego and surrender
• Stuck points—and how to move through them with compassion
• Why “you are enough” is not a platitude but a practice
• How two spiritual vocabularies can lead to the same place: presence, love, and letting go

If you’re in your own stuck point right now—emotionally, financially, or spiritually—I hope this episode helps you feel less alone, and reminds you that even in the chaos, there’s a deeper place inside you that hasn’t been touched.

Want to share a thought?

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