A DM match, a parking‑lot handshake, and a transfer day “gift” in cash—then silence. Hallie joins us to share how a seemingly straightforward surrogacy journey morphed into a tangle of red flags: minimal medical clearance, a contract fight over termination language, a hard push to keep escrow with the intended parents’ attorney, and months with the agency acting as the only conduit to the family. When a July email warned that the matching entity was tied to an ongoing investigation and that a pre‑birth order might not arrive before delivery, everything shifted. We talk through the panic, the legal limbo, and the practical fallout when escrow funds stop and medical bills don’t.
We walk step‑by‑step through the choices that helped Hallie hold the line—why third‑party escrow mattered, how to frame non‑negotiables, and what to look for in termination clauses and monitoring protocols. She also shares the human side: taking her grandmother to transfer, the shock of contradictory family details revealed minutes before the procedure, and the eerie quiet that followed. This isn’t fear‑mongering; it’s a candid look at how trust, transparency, and process protect everyone in surrogacy—surrogates, intended parents, and the child.
If you’re considering becoming a surrogate or building your family through surrogacy, you’ll find practical safeguards you can use today: identity‑verified matching (not DMs), evidence‑based medical screening at the transfer clinic, specialized attorneys on both sides, independent and adequately funded escrow, and a written communication plan. We end by pausing at 36 weeks, with part two on the way—covering the pre‑birth order scramble, hospital planning, and what to do when professionals say “we don’t know.”
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