What's going wrong with social media?

Welcome to the Business of Psychology podcast. I have been wanting to make a podcast for a while about the reasons that I've stepped back a little bit in my use of social media and the changes that I've made and that I've encouraged my clients in my coaching programs to make in the way that we view it and the way that we use it. Because I'm aware that for a lot of us at the moment, social media feels like a very heavy place. There's a lot of pressure, there's a lot of negativity, and if we're not mindful about how we are using it, it can take a really big emotional toll. I feel like because we talk on this podcast about the advantages of using social media to market, to reach your people who need you in your practice, it's also important to talk about how to manage our wellbeing as we do that, and also how to make sure we're putting content out there that feels aligned with our values and that feels professionally fulfilling, because in some ways I feel the platforms drag us away from those values.

Full show notes for this episode are available at The Business of Psychology

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Shownotes

Is there a helpful way for psychologists and therapists to use social media in 2026?

The thing that I'm going to talk about the most in this episode is being mindful of the priorities of social media companies and developing an awareness that they're not neutral tools. They have business models that are designed to sell attention by amplifying the things which people can't resist, which are usually negativity and anger. That can be really detrimental to our own wellbeing, and if we're not careful, it can be detrimental to our client groups too. I’m also going to talk about the positivity and the nuance in that; it is not all bad, there's a lot of good that we can still do with social media, but only if we are mindful of its inherent design flaws and the pitfalls that I see a lot of us falling into.

What we’re seeing on social media

Let's start by talking about what a lot of us are seeing on social media. When I go to networking events and I meet up with my coaching clients, a lot of us are witnessing stuff on social media that's really upsetting. And I don't mean the stuff from unregulated people giving bad advice and misinformation. That's been going on as long as there has been social media and it's bad, but I'm not seeing more of it than I saw five years ago. I'm seeing about the same number of unqualified people telling me things that they have no business to tell me. But what I am seeing more of, maybe just because I'm spending more time looking than I was previously, but I feel like it is an upwards trend, are discussions or debates on social media, particularly LinkedIn and Facebook, between professionals who are properly qualified that turn into like skirmishes. Often these are on topics which are highly emotive for many of us. The ones which get served up to me all the time, because my children have additional needs, are usually around topics like neurodiversity, neuro affirmative practice, and causes and cures for autism, in particular. Those are all topics which I do know a fair amount about. Since my children started to struggle and I went through the diagnostic process, I think I've probably read more on those topics than I have on anything else in my entire life. I keep really up to date with the evidence base, and I have read most of the seminal texts that I've been able to get my hands on in those areas. And the thing that I have taken away from all of that reading and research is that it is really nuanced and complicated and nobody is really right. There's a lot that I like and that I think has a good grounding in evidence in neuro affirmative practice. Certainly, the positive impact on identity formation and the value of neuro affirmative therapy and coaching for people, I see that and I like it, and I recognise it, and I think it can't be ignored, and it shouldn't be ignored. But it's also true that a lot of the people putting out their views about neuro affirmation and the principles of neurodiversity, are spreading misinformation about the way that the brain works and about how solid the evidence base is for brain-based differences between particularly autistic and ADHD brains and neurotypical brains. And I don't like that. I don't like the kind of division that's created between neurotypicals and neurodivergence, because I don't think that is evidence-based, and I don't think that will help people in the end. But having said that, it's also not true to say that the evidence shows no brain-based differences. I've seen some really invalidating stuff on there where people who, like me, are a little bit sceptical about building identity around one particular label, have then taken it to the point where they're saying that people shouldn't be using these labels at all, that we are massively over diagnosed and that these labels are not helpful. And that's not true either. I mean, my children would not be okay without their labels. People need them to get what they need in a society that we have built around labelling people. And so the idea that people are wrong for finding those useful, or that clinicians are wrong for using labels in the system that we operate in is also bizarre.

I suppose the reason that I've gone on this sidebar slightly is that this is a difficult and nuanced point. Nobody is really wrong, nobody is really right, and yet what I see on social media is really vitriolic, a lot of sound bites to grab attention, and no space given for this kind of both/and position, which is a painful one to hold. It isn't much fun being a parent of children that need a lot of additional support to be sitting here, bum on the fence, a spiky fence, being like, okay, I see the good, I see the bad, on balance we’re going to go with the labels because they're going to do more good than harm, but I can't fully commit myself to the idea of building a whole identity around any label. It feels uncomfortable. It feels like I don't have a home. But the reality is, when I talk to people in person, and I meet a lot of people that I've seen online in person, most people are falling where I am. Most people are really nuanced about it, a bit torn apart by it. They've read the same evidence that I have, and come to the same conclusion that actually we're in this really tricky grey space, but nobody is representing that online, even if it's what they think really. I think that's because the platforms encourage us to speak in a way that we wouldn't speak professionally if we were in a room together. Complex topics get reduced to these short, extreme, and often un-evidenced claims, like no brain-based differences, or CBT is harmful to people with autism. Those are the kind of statements which work really well on social media because they get an argument going and they get rewarded, and so we post more of them. But I actually think they're really doing a lot of harm, not just between professionals. I often really cringe when I see it happening on social media. I might start to feel a bit disillusioned with clinical psychology as a profession, or I might feel a bit shamed or upset if somebody's having a go at something that I've said. It can be difficult for us as professionals, but imagine what it is like if you’re a family going through the most difficult thing you've ever experienced, and then you go onto LinkedIn and you see a load of people who are supposed to be the people giving you advice and guidance, fighting each other. I can't stand it. I can't stand to think about what that experience must be like for people in their most vulnerable moments.

And it's not just happening around neurodiversity, that's just the one I know more about. But I also see it happening a lot around gender identity, for example. I think sometimes when we're posting, we need to be mindful of the vulnerable people who might see it. Maybe they're not the person the post is intended for, maybe it's intended for a professional audience, but it's got your name, it's got your professional title. You are representing a clinical psychologist, or a CBT therapist, or a counsellor to the people that read it. So, if you are getting into a skirmish and having cross words with other professionals on there, that is really confusing to the person that's looking to us as mental health professionals to guide them through the darkness of a new diagnosis or a struggle that their family is facing.

I think we have to start changing the way that we use social media and probably the only way that we can do that is understanding that it is not your fault that you are compelled into these arguments. There are billionaires out there who are incredibly good at manipulating us into engaging in this way on their platforms. It is what they want. They want us to be angry, they want us to fight with each other, and they want it all done in a public arena because that's where they're going to get their eyeballs, which is how they pay their salaries. I'm sure most of you are aware of this, but just in case you're not, the thing which makes money for social media platforms is advertising. And the reason that advertising space is valuable is all to do with how many eyeballs there are on that platform and how long they stay on that platform. I advertise on Facebook, but I would not give them my money if they were only getting a thousand people a month on their platform. It's because they're getting millions, probably billions, and they're keeping them there for a long time, that I think it's worth spending money advertising on that platform. Because they don't charge us, they charge the advertisers, we as users of the platform are the commodity. We are the thing being sold. Our attention is the thing being sold to advertisers. So, the only motivation a social media platform that doesn't charge you will ever have is keeping you on there for longer, and people stay longer when they're angry. So, knowing that this platform is going to try to make me angry, I think is a really helpful mindset to have when we are going in and thinking about what we're going to post, and how we're going to comment on other people's posts. I try to really keep that in the forefront of my mind before I let any of these posts or comments get to me.

That's the mindset piece I think we have to have in place when we are devising our strategy for engaging with social media. I guess the best advice I can give you is to have a strategy for social media. Don't just engage with it off the cuff, because that's when we are most susceptible to what the algorithms and the people building these platforms want us to do. If we go in with real intention, with real strategy behind us, then it is much more difficult to be blown off course. It's a bit like anything you do with your business; if you know your values and you know why you are doing this and where you want to get to, then whatever kind of bad weather and storms get in the way, it is much, much easier to continuously set your compass for the right bearing and keep going through them. Whereas if you were never sure where you wanted to go in the first place, you are much more likely to be buffeted around according to the weather.

1. Limit your social media use to what is strategically useful

The first thing that I would recommend is limit your social media use to what is strategically useful, especially if you've already noticed that it is having a negative impact on your nervous system or your wellbeing. I know it's not negative for everybody, but the clients that I've worked with, my coaching clients who have positive experiences of social media, it is because they have taken the time to curate what they're seeing and they are intentional about what they're doing. For example, one of my ex-clients who I think I'm most proud of and love to see her social media out there, is Dr Frankie Harrison from Miracle Moon. Frankie is really intentional about what she posts. She posts stuff which is going to be really useful for people going through the experience of parenting in NICU. Her content is really collaborative, it's really community focused, and it's exactly what those people need to see at the time they need to see it. I know that she gets a lot out of her community and really enjoys engaging there, but the reason that it's enjoyable is that it's really intentional. She knows exactly why she's there, it's hitting her values, it's really good quality content and it feels good to create it.

2. Spend time curating what you see

I've also noticed that people that do well on social media spend time curating what they see. We can do that on all of the platforms; we can choose to hide things that we don't want to see and we can like things that we do want to see. Gradually over time, that means that we will get more of the stuff that we want and less of the stuff that we don't want, which is really, really important. So, I'd encourage you to just spend a couple of weeks doing that so that you are not served up the stuff which is an assault on your nervous system.

3. Focus on what you want your social media to do for you

The third thing, which comes into the point of intentionality, is really focus on what you want your social media to do for you. I'd encourage you to think of it as building a body of work that builds your authority and that you feel proud of. You should feel proud of everything that you are doing on social media because all of it reflects on your profession and on your business. It's all building your reputation. If you're putting out there content that you feel lukewarm about, that you're a bit like, ‘Hmm, it's a bit boring’, then you're not going to feel proud of it, there's no point. Equally, if you're allowing your emotions to take the driving seat and you are responding in a spiky way, or you're talking in a way that you wouldn't talk in front of a client, that's not serving you or your business either. Have a really clear idea of ‘what do I want to get out of this?’ It's usually about building authority and giving people the confidence to work with you, or if you're not in business, giving them the confidence to engage with your profession. I think we can all agree that seeing those vitriolic debates on social media is not going to do any of those things for people.

There's a tool that I use in my Evolve and Thrive programme and in my Startup programme (my two group coaching programmes), where I help people to think through what it is that they should be talking about on social media. What are the things that your client group need to hear from you about? I then help them think about what stories they might use to make those ideas relatable. We build a little bank together of stories that you are comfortable with sharing around those topics that clients are interested in, because we know that storytelling makes learning points come to life, makes everything sink in, and are much more compelling than how-tos or your straightforward psychoeducation posts. We always come up with a little bank of stories that we can draw on to create content, only then do we go onto platforms and look at what type of content is working well and think about how we can fit the ideas that we already have, that are on topics that we want to be known for and we've got tons of expertise in, and we're building our authority in that area, and our stories that we want to share, how can we fit those two things to the formats that are working well on that platform at the moment? And if you follow that process, starting with what your customer wants to hear from you and working through, and the last thing you do is figuring out what that should look like on a particular platform, then you'll find that you are showing up and you are posting in a way that builds your authority, that serves up high quality content, that actually does some good for your client group, and should also build the authority and reputation for your independent business if that's what you want to do. That's a process that I really recommend. We have tools to help us do it in Evolve and Thrive and the Startup programme, but if you bear those principles in mind, you are not going to go far wrong.

I hope this hasn't just been a rant. I wanted to spend a bit of time today talking about how the business models of social media are making us all behave badly as professionals online, and you know that we should have compassion for that, that it is not our fault. There are people paid a lot of money to try and make us behave like this, and it's happening to everybody - it's not just happening to mental health professionals. But we can do something about it, we can do better, and we can use social media in a way that is going to be better for us, better for our wellbeing, better for our clients, and ultimately bring us to the place that we want to be in our businesses as well. It's different advice to the advice that I would've given when this podcast started back in 2020, the landscape has changed, but I hope that this has given you an idea of how you can use social media in a positive way. We don't need to run away from it, we just don't want to let it take the driving seat either.

I hope that's been helpful. Please do let me know your thoughts. You can send me a DM. I'm @rosiegilderthorp on Instagram, and I'd really love to hear how you’re using social media and if you've noticed the same trends as me and what you are doing about it, if you have.