What if waking up isn’t a single breakthrough moment—but a layered, looping journey through insight, fear, wonder, and mystery? In this episode, we explore the complex terrain of spiritual awakening through dreams, false awakenings, mystical encounters, and moments of terrifying clarity. From Michael’s lucid Spirit Train dream to Jeff’s powerful visitation from a fierce divine feminine presence, we ask: What does it really mean to wake up—is it a one time affair or is it a journey, a process?

We dig into the paradoxes of awakening: how it can feel ecstatic or annihilating, grounding or destabilizing—and how most of us live in the space between. Along the way, we talk about Kundalini energy, inflation, ontological shock, the fear of God, and the danger of mistaking glimpses of the Real for the whole story.

This episode is about learning to live with grace and curiosity in the middle ground—where waking up is not an arrival, but a way of being.

Episode Highlights

[00:00:49] Waking Up on the Spirit Train

• To get us going, we review Michael's "Spirit Train" dream and the multiple instances of "waking up" within it? The lines between dreaming, waking, illusion, and reality are appropriately blurred. Is waking up a one-time affair or does it transition us between states?

[00:06:57] Red Goddess Kundalini

• Jeff recounts a dream in which he met a goddess who tried to awaken and/or annihilate him and he had to run like hell to save himself. Do we really want the awakening we think we want? Do we really know what it will cost us?

[00:15:49] Terror and Illumination

• Is waking up always "good?" When it's "bad," is that always bad? Once again we trace the line that runs at once both through terror and illumination.

[00:27:08] Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God Docuseries Discussion

• Can waking up lead to trouble in your life? We discuss the docuseries Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God which you can watch on Max.

[00:42:02] The Profound Middle Ground

• Can we both awake and embedded in the dream at the same time? In that in-between what might be possible?

[00:52:07] The Sea of Consciousness

• Endeavoring to treat everything with dignity, respect, and love in late-stage matter deconstruction.

[01:01:07] The Perception of the Heart and Loving the Middle Ground

• Do we wake up in the head? Or in the heart?

Visit our website. While you're there:

• Sign up for our mailing list to keep up to date on the all the latest from us
• Contact us about your own experiences, questions, comments

Episode Artwork: Asleep, Awake by Helen Armstrong