190: The Biggest Lie High Performers Tell Themselves | Ted Phaeton The Learn-It-All podcast

When success is defined by always saying yes and never showing weakness, burnout is inevitable. In this compelling episode, Damon is joined by Emmy award-winning meteorologist, podcaster, and Noble Knights founder Ted Phateon, who takes us inside the “high performer’s trap”—and how real growth comes from learning to say no, set boundaries, and protect your peace. Together, they tackle the pressures men face following prescribed scripts for success, how top performers can avoid self-destruction, and why managing your time isn’t just about productivity—it’s about self-alignment and fulfillment.

Ted shares his unique journey from burnout to boundary-setting, unveils actionable tools and scripts for defending your time, and explains how slowing down can actually make high achievers stronger. Plus: candid stories on fatherhood, healing generational wounds, and the power of male mentorship for genuine transformation. Packed with real talk, this episode is a must-listen for leaders, learners, and anyone ready to rewrite their definition of success.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why following the “script” of success can lead to regret, burnout, and misery—and how to spot when you’re out of alignment.
Practical frameworks for setting boundaries, including Ted’s “perfect week,” time-blocking, and scripts for gracefully saying no or deferring requests.
Why high performers are especially prone to burnout—and the counterintuitive secret that 85% effort (not 100%) creates longevity and impact.
How to build greater self-awareness and situational awareness to identify the real roots of stress, avoidance, and negative behaviors.
The role of mentorship, honest feedback, and supportive male circles in helping men (and leaders of all kinds) grow and break destructive cycles.
How becoming a father changed Ted’s view on time, alignment, and the importance of living with empathy, presence, and curiosity.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Ted’s struggle with boundaries and the masculine pressure to never ask for help

01:09 – The “script” men are taught—and why it often leads to unfulfillment

04:15 – How chasing the “wrong carrot” leads to success regret

06:11 – Spotting when you’re out of alignment: self-awareness and situational whispers

08:10 – Why time is our most precious (and unrenewable) asset

10:40 – Why letting someone go can actually serve them best

13:02 – The link between boundary-setting, time-blocking, and protecting your peace

15:59 – Scripts for saying no, deferring, and managing expectations

17:49 – The curse (and burnout) of being a top performer

20:59 – Why self-aware high performers are more powerful than those who never “pump the brakes”

22:57 – The science behind slowing down, working at 85%, and why recovery matters

25:14 – Inside Ted’s Tools of Time course: structure, habits, and personalized frameworks

27:04 – “You don’t have to be great to start”: Overcoming disorganization and making small daily changes

30:26 – The hidden cost of DIY: delegating versus losing time

33:41 – From podcasting to noble mentorship: what men need most

36:57 – Finding brotherhood, healthy circles, and the value of honest feedback

39:46 – How Ted learned to embrace (not resist) hard feedback

46:13 – How fatherhood reshaped Ted’s priorities and time use

49:29 – What Ted wants for his daughter’s future: more empathy, less judgment

51:33 – Final advice: Stay curious, keep learning, and let your skills accumulate for the future

About Ted Phateon

Ted Phateon is an Emmy award-winning morning meteorologist, founder of The Noble Knights men’s group, and host of The Modern Man Podcast. Dedicated to challenging traditional narratives around masculinity and success, Ted helps high performers and everyday leaders redefine what it means to win—at work, at home, and within themselves. From healing generational wounds to teaching transformational time management, Ted’s coaching, courses, and community work inspire men everywhere to grow, connect, and lead with authenticity.

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Website: www.learnit.com

Email: [email protected]