Have you ever walked into a meeting and instantly started monitoring yourself—your volume, your facial expressions, your ideas—so you wouldn’t come across as “too much”? Too intense, too direct, too emotional, too silly, too curious?

In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, we’re unpacking the fear of being “too much” at work and how it quietly shapes the careers and nervous systems of ADHD women.

I share stories about being labeled too loud, too playful, and too direct, how I moved from feeling “not enough” to over-functioning so no one would see my struggles, and the moment I realized “not enough” and “too much” actually come from the same place.

We’ll explore how childhood conditioning, masking, workplace expectations, and rejection sensitivity all intertwine—and why playing small has real emotional, physical, and career costs.

You’ll also learn practical ways to start reclaiming your authentic self at work in small, nervous-system-friendly steps.

In this episode, we’ll explore:
• How ADHD women internalize messages about being “too much”
• The paradox of feeling both “not enough” and “too much”
• Over-functioning, masking, and the hidden cost of playing small
• Why visibility feels so threatening in professional spaces
• Nervous system tools to anchor yourself when you feel exposed
• Small, doable ways to practice being more of who you really are at work

If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, my journal-book experience, The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD, will help you explore the parts of you that feel too much or not enough—and begin to build a more self-loving, grounded relationship with yourself.

Learn more here:
https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Fear of Being Too Much

00:50 Personal Experiences and Struggles

01:36 Understanding the Fear of Being Too Much

02:53 Podcast Introduction and Overview

03:35 Exploring the Fear of Being Too Much

04:17 Childhood Conditioning and Nervous System Responses

06:08 Workplace Challenges and Personal Stories

12:35 Internalized Labels and Misinterpretations

13:53 The Paradox of Being Too Much or Not Enough

17:28 Consequences of Playing Small

23:53 Navigating the Workplace with ADHD

27:29 Strategies for Authentic Self-Expression

37:05 Conclusion and Resources

✨ If you found this episode helpful…
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Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

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