Kristina and Anna explore three Inner Villains in practice—how they show up in real life, what their “medicine” looks like, and what integration can unlock. Stories include a cross-country “house tour” of legends, a vulnerable experiment with the Vain Controller, and a candid breakdown of Righteous Bully dynamics at home.

Timestamps

• 00:00 — Catch-up: Niagara River energy, moving into an RV, new podcast soft-launch, hosting 30 for Thanksgiving
• 06:00 — Why this work hits differently when you start applying it
• 07:00 — “Reversing the spin” and why we take gifts from each villain
• 09:30 — The filter metaphor: turning life’s burn into clearer water
• 10:30 — Vain Controller in the wild: image, status, resources, and vulnerability practice
• 17:45 — Scarcity vs strategic generosity; non-transactional networking
• 21:00 — The “villain houses” road trip: Inventor, Equalizer, Traveller, Nothing, Healer, Hungry Shapeshifter
• 33:45 — Eternal Child patterns, enabling, and compassionate honesty
• 39:20 — Righteous Bully 101, medicine, legend, and a domestic case study
• 55:00 — When “surrendered” gets stuck, and stepping back into leadership
• 57:00 — Take the Villain Quiz and next steps

Villain deep dives

Vain Controller (VC)

Core pattern

• Seeks safety through appearance, performance, and perceived success.
• Manages for resources and status; swings between vanity and vulnerable insecurity, and between scarcity control and trusting abundance.

Legend: The Inventor

• Uses resources creatively, shares generously, and builds networks that multiply value.

Medicine

• Vulnerability and confession.
• Strategic generosity over transactional control.
• Practising trust that resources and relationships are renewable.

Practices you can try

• Micro-confession: when you feel the urge to posture or criticize, name the fear underneath to a safe person.
• Non-transactional gift: offer one connection, resource, or introduction this week with no ask attached.
• Audit your “appearance routines”: keep what is self-respecting, release what is fear-managing.

Moments to listen for

• The “snark, then confess” experiment, and what it revealed about fear of failure and being unlovable.
• The networking story that models non-transactional giving.

Eternal Child (EC)

Core pattern

• Entitled to care, victim-armoring, denial, and story-bending to avoid responsibility.
• Draws disproportionate resources in the “drama triangle.”

Legend: The Traveller

• Expands perspective through literal or metaphorical travel, meets life directly, and participates in fair exchange.

Medicine

• Compassionate honesty and natural consequences.
• Replace enabling with clear agreements and accountability.
• Perspective-expansion experiences.

Practices you can try

• One honest sentence: state the concrete impact of a behavior without softening the facts.
• Consequence alignment: stop padding timelines, covering, or reframing the truth.
• Perspective field-trip: choose an experience that expands empathy and scale.

Moments to listen for

• The “villain houses” tour and how a welcoming, playful home embodied the Traveller.
• How enabling keeps everyone living inside someone else’s “fake world,” and what shifted when honesty landed.

Righteous Bully (RB)

Core pattern

• Opinion hardens into gospel, dissent becomes threat, and “correction” tips into character assassination.
• Gift hidden inside: raw leadership energy.

Legend: The Channeler

• Holds a strong point of view, listens deeply, integrates the wisdom of the group, and leads fairly.

Medicine

• The Surrendered: curiosity, humility, and shared problem-solving.
• Distinguish data, opinion, and impact.
• Repair through ownership rather than domination.

Practices you can try

• Three breaths, three questions: What am I assuming, what else could be true, what would repair look like.
• Tone check in the kitchen: correct the action, not the person.
• Leadership rep: where do I need to stop over-surrendering and actually lead.

Moments to listen for

• The vestibular case study: fury when sound advice wasn’t followed.
• The “jumpy house” story: how fear of a blow-up created the perfect storm, and what repair requires.
• Kristina’s flip-side: when over-surrendering blocked necessary leadership on IP and contracts.

Key ideas and language

• Reversing the spin: Integration is not skipping villainy, it is harvesting its gifts and re-orienting them.
• The filter metaphor: Life’s burn leaves ash, charcoal, and heat; arranged well, they clarify the water of love.
• Non-transactional generosity: Strategic resourcing without ledgers grows real networks.

Pull quotes

• “We’re not meant to be just heroes and legends. You take a gift back from being a villain.”
• “Compassion without honesty is enabling. Honesty without compassion is punishment.”
• “Leadership isn’t losing your opinion, it’s holding it while you listen.”

Resources mentioned

• Inner Villain Quiz — link in show notes
• Articles and videos on Vain Controller, Eternal Child, Righteous Bully — link in show notes
• The Executive & The Mystic podcast — link in show notes

Take it further

• Take the quiz, then pick one medicine practice above and run it for seven days.
• Journal prompt: Where am I managing for image or control instead of resource flow. Where am I enabling instead of telling the truth. Where am I correcting a person instead of a behavior.
• If you’re a leader, bring one of these frameworks into a team retro: What villain pattern did we slip into, and what medicine would rebalance us.

Credits and housekeeping

• Hosts: Kristina Wiltsee and Anna
• Recorded: September
• To share reflections or questions, reply to the newsletter or send a note to the show inbox.
• Light launch of Kristina’s new podcast, The Executive & The Mystic; more to come.