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This is the second episode in our series exploring Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy’s new book, Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids.
Desire differences are one of the most common struggles couples face—especially after becoming parents. One partner may want sex more often, while the other feels overwhelmed, pressured, or disconnected. Underneath those stuck places, both people are usually reaching for the same thing: closeness, emotional safety, and reassurance that they matter.
In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy (couples and sex therapist) and Dr. Alex DiGrado (pelvic floor physical therapist) dive into the sexual cycle—how pursuit and withdrawal show up in the bedroom, how gender conditioning shapes desire, and the real difference between spontaneous vs. responsive desire.
They explore why pressure shuts everything down, how resentment quietly builds, and why willingness—not immediate desire—is often the true starting point for connection.
What You’ll Learn
- How emotional patterns influence sexual patterns
- The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire
- Why pressure and resentment shut down intimacy
- How gender conditioning affects how people express desire
- What is sensate focus and how can it help couples reconnect
Tune in if you’ve ever thought:
- “Why do we want sex at such different times?”
- “Is something wrong with me if I only feel desire after things get started?”
- “Why does my partner take it so personally when I’m not in the mood?”
- “How can we get out of this cycle of pressure, shutdown, and misunderstanding?”
- “How do we bring back intimacy after having kids?”
Resources
Sex & Relationships
- Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
https://substack.com/@parentsinlove
Pelvic floor + postpartum support & courses
- The Healthy Pelvis Project – virtual pelvic health and postpartum support:
https://thehealthypelvisproject.podia.com/
Find a pelvic floor physical therapist near you
- Pelvic Rehab Provider Directory:
http://pelvicrehab.com/ - Pelvic Global PT Directory:
https://directory.pelvicglobal.com/
Connect with Us
Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
- Website: https://www.rebeccaeudy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccahowardeudy/
- Newsletter: https://substack.com/@parentsinlove
Dr. Alexandria DiGrado
- Website: https://www.bostonpelvicpt.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bostonpelvicpt/
- Newsletter: https://underthehood.myflodesk.com/o9qfr16q1v
Podcast
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/underthehooddocs/
- Website: http://www.underthehoodpod.com
7 episodes
