What happens in your brain when you fall in love? How does attachment shape our lives and relationships? Neuroscientist and Bestselling Author, Jonah Lehrer, reveals the science of love, how to rebuild a life after cancellation and the mysteries of consciousness. Jonah explores how love, secure attachment, and meaning helped him reconstruct his life, identity, and work after public shame and professional exile. Expect to learn about the neurological mechanisms that drive our emotions, the impact of childhood on adult relationships, and more.

Jonah explains:

–Why love is not a single moment but a lifelong attachment process, how your early “working model” of love shapes partners, parenting, and anxiety, and what to do if you grew up with insecure attachment.

–How habits like chasing constant pleasure, avoiding boredom, and living in your “unlived life” lead to frustration, and how to shift toward meaning, grit, and secure relationships instead.

–How top performers build “grit muscles,” override the brain’s “central governor” that tells you to stop, and use struggle in sport, work, and creativity as feedback to keep going rather than a sign to quit.

–The essential skills schools never teach—like tolerating boredom, practicing gratitude, journaling honestly, and sitting with mystery—that support better focus, creativity, and relationships.

–Why hard work alone isn’t enough if it’s driven by status and speed, and the surprising truth Jonah learned when a career-ending mistake forced him to slow down, face shame, and reorient around love, family, and careful craft.

00:00 The Science of Falling in Love

01:08 Attachment Theory Explained

01:30 The Impact of Childhood on Love

05:32 The Role of Struggle in Love

06:10 The Importance of Grit and Perseverance

11:09 The Central Governor Theory

17:16 Understanding Secure Attachment

21:01 The Evolutionary Purpose of Love

22:02 The Dangers of Loneliness

26:46 Personal Reflections on Being Cancelled

47:16 Daily Journaling and Literary Inspirations

49:03 Fatherhood: Discovering New Passions

51:03 Nature vs. Nurture: Reflections on Parenting

52:17 The Virtue of Boredom and Solitude

01:06:11 The Quest for Meaning and Happiness

01:11:01 Exploring Memory and Its Mysteries

01:19:12 The Ultimate Mystery: Consciousness

01:29:02 Advice for the Younger Self

01:31:03 Starting Your Own Podcast

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Jonah Lehrer’s Work

Website: https://jonahlehrer.net

Books: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/428923.Jonah_Lehrer

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Team:

Host: Jacob Watson-Howland

Chief Editor: Chloé Breheret

Chief Automation Officer: Jack McDuff

Website: www.jacobwatsonhowland.com