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This is Sometimes Curious Often Confused. I'm Richard Okongwu, a guy who is curious about human behavior and loves asking questions. Each week I explore trust, deception, friendship, and the psychology of human beings, not as an expert, but as someone just trying to figure things out. This podcast is part personal journal and part thought experiment. I dive into connection, vulnerability, the choices we make and why we make them. Yes! sometimes I do state the obvious. I tell you things you a ...
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Spiral 19: Maturing early, but at what cost? You know, we love when children start acting mature early. We clap for them. We say, "Wow, you’re so responsible. You’re so reasonable. You’re so mature." And who doesn’t like that? Who doesn’t love a child that acts older than their age?Because it makes your job easier. And who doesn't want easy? It’s a…
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What if you became the friend you wanted?
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Spiral 18: What if you became the friend you wanted? We want people to show up for us the same way we show up for others. But who gets to show up first is usually an internal debate. In this episode, I discuss the upside of showing up first for "our people". Here's a little question: How much help do the nice, selfless ones actually need? Let’s tal…
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Spiral 17: Maybe Consistency Isn't Overrated Sometimes consistency feels overrated. It feels like showing up daily doesn’t mean anything if you don’t see results.But what if the real power of consistency isn’t about instant results but about staying in the game long enough to grow?Could it be that consistency is less about daily progress and more a…
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Spiral 16: What if fame had an off button? Can we talk about what people think fame is? Because that’s not the same as what it really is. In this episode, I’m starting a new series "If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Fly" and we’re beginning with the dream of fame. From the highs of recognition to the pressure of staying in character, I’m wonderi…
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Spiral 15: Access Granted What if every thought, compliment, or criticism needed permission before it could shape how we see ourselves? In this episode, I’m thinking out loud about the mental checkpoints we don’t even realize we have—and how trust, self-image, and past experiences decide what gets through. Who have we given access to… and why? And …
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When was the last time you really checked in with yourself? Not just a quick "I'm fine," but an actual moment to pause and ask… How am I, really?In this episode, we take a step back—just for a little while. No pressure, no overthinking. Just a question worth asking.So… how are you?Send feedback or suggestions: Email: [email protected]: ht…
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The Mindset Trap: The Prison of Being Right
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We all say we want open conversations, but do we really allow people to change their minds? From influencers to politicians to everyday social media debates, there’s an unspoken rule: once you’ve taken a stance, you’d better stick with it—because admitting you were wrong? That’s risky.Why do we cling to old opinions, even when we know better? Is it…
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Ever had the perfect comeback—only for the moment to slip away? Or worse, forgotten what you were about to say entirely? That sting of loss isn’t just about words—it’s about ideas, relationships, and the things we struggle to hold onto.Why do we cling to people, even when we’re not sure they belong in our lives? Why do we hoard thoughts, fearing we…
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In this episode, we dive into the blurry line between authenticity and performance. From influencers faking beach cleanups to the oddly consistent formula of online apology videos (cue the hoodie and soft voice), we ask: Is expressing ourselves still genuine, or has it all become a script?Why does confidence feel like something we have to rehearse?…
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Overthinking is my Full-time job with no pay
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Episode 10: Overthinking Let's have a deep dive into the endless spiral of overthinking! In this episode, we unpack the mental gymnastics of analyzing every conversation, decision, and potential worst-case scenario—because why let things go when you can dissect them for hours? From replaying awkward interactions to preparing for debates that may ne…
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Fear of Ruined Reputation: Why We Worry About Judgment even Before Success
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Season 1: Why We Do What We Do and Why It’s Not Weird | Episode 9Why are we so afraid of ruining our reputation, even if no one knows who we are? In this episode, we delve into the fear of being canceled, why we worry about our reputation, and the pressure to be perfect—even before we go viral. Whether you’re an aspiring creator or someone trying t…
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The Productivity Myth: Why Less Sleep Won't Make You More Successful
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Season 1: Why We Do What We Do and Why It’s Not Weird | Episode 8Is staying up late really the secret to getting more done? Or is it just a trap we keep falling for? In this episode of Sometimes Curious, Often Confused, I break down the myth of late-night productivity and why sacrificing sleep often backfires. We'll explore why we convince ourselve…
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Self-Perception, Confidence, and Seeking Validation: When Approval Helps and When It Hurts
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How much do other people’s opinions really affect the way you see yourself? In this episode of Sometimes Curious, Often Confused, we explore the connection between self-perception and external validation—breaking down how feedback from others can influence your confidence, identity, and the choices you make. You'll learn about: • What self-percepti…
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Why Does January Feel Like a Never-Ending Monday?
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Season 1: Why We Do What We Do and Why It’s Not Weird | Episode 6 You’ve survived the holidays, but now January arrives—the Monday of the year. It feels impossibly long, leaving us drained before we even get started. Is it the weight of holiday debt, the pressure of sticking to New Year’s resolutions, or simply the slow grind after festive exciteme…
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Fresh Starts: Why We Love to Begin Again (and Again)
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Season 1: Why We Do What We Do and Why It’s Not Weird | Episode 5 Every January, millions of people embrace the promise of a fresh start, setting New Year’s resolutions aimed at personal growth, better health, or greater happiness. Yet, by February, many of these goals have already fallen by the wayside. Why does this cycle of optimism and abandonm…
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Christmas in Nigeria: The Glow-Up, The Glow-Down, and The Aftermath
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Season 1: Why We Do What We Do and Why It’s Not Weird | Episode 4 Christmas is often filled with glittering lights and festive cheer, but what’s really happening behind the scenes? In this episode, we’re digging into the emotional and social costs of the holiday season—the pressures to overspend, overindulge, and maintain fake connections. From the…
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Season 1: Why We Do What We Do and Why It’s Not Weird | Episode 3 Why does being humble sometimes feel like a competitive sport? In this episode, I dive into how humility can shift from a genuine trait to a performance, with some people using it to project an image rather than live it authentically. Have you ever spotted these behaviors in others—o…
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God When: Why Nigerians Can’t Stop Saying It
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Season 1: Why We Do What We do and why It’s Not Weird | Episode 2 "God When" has become a familiar phrase in Nigerian conversations about success, hope and timing. This episode discusses what it reveals about the balance between aspiration and societal pressure, as well as the broader global fascination with public milestones. Got thoughts on today…
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A casual compliment, a kind gesture, or an offhand comment—why do these seemingly small moments sometimes leave such a lasting impression? In this episode, we explore how these interactions can unexpectedly shape our lives, influence our emotions, and even alter the way we view ourselves or others. Whether it's a kind word that boosts your confiden…
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Introducing "Sometimes Curious, Often Confused"
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Life is messy, and so are our thoughts. I’m Richard Okongwu, an Industrial Mathematics student fascinated by the twists and turns of human behavior and psychology. In this debut episode of Sometimes Curious, Often Confused, I invite you to join me on a journey through the questions we secretly ponder but rarely voice. From exploring why we lie to t…
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