Best Paul Colaianni Podcasts (2025)

1
Life isn't exactly fulfilling when you are holding on to upset toward someone 31:03

7d ago31:03

31:03

When you're holding on to that little bit of anger or upset about or toward someone else, maybe someone who is not even in your life anymore, it can decrease the quality of your happiness, maybe even diminishing it to a mere sliver of what it could be.By Paul Colaianni

1
Trying to figure out who the emotionally abusive person really is in the relationship 42:09

12d ago42:09

42:09

You'd think it'd be easy to figure out: The hurtful one is the abusive one. But what happens when the victim gets convinced they are the abuser? Determining that while in the abuse cycle can sometimes be very difficult. However, I make it very clear in this episode.By Paul Colaianni

1
Stay in control or let it go? 42:55

13d ago42:55

42:55

Do we have to carry the weight of our past negative experiences into our future? Staying in control and letting go of it have the very same effect. I get into more detail about that in this episode about choice.By Paul Colaianni

1
The games our loved ones play 38:22

21d ago38:22

38:22

"Go ahead, have a great time! Wait, are you leaving without me? What about my needs? No, I mean go ahead and have fun. I'll be good! Hey, don't feel bad about leaving me alone, I'll be fine. Oh, you don't feel bad? Why are you leaving me alone? How can you do this to me?" Need I say more?By Paul Colaianni

1
What is love? 53:49

28d ago53:49

53:49

How you define love will be what you get from it. If you don't have a definition for love, you may get stuck with something that appears to be love, but is really something else altogether. If you are 100% happy with the people you love in your life, skip this episode.By Paul Colaianni

1
When a relationship is not a relationship 25:22

1M ago25:22

25:22

"Everything's great with me," they say, as you sit there staring, confused, wondering what the hell you're missing because you're having a completely different experience as them. When is a relationship not an actual relationship anymore?By Paul Colaianni

1
Never put your faith in anyone who makes you feel unworthy 27:58

1M ago27:58

27:58

People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.By Paul Colaianni

1
When every argument is petty and unresolved 38:54

1M ago38:54

38:54

Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today.By Paul Colaianni

1
Don't lock yourself into a worse situation 32:10

2M ago32:10

32:10

When you get into an emotionally abusive relationship, you have no idea what you're walking into. When you figure it out, you might have to make some tough choices. One of those choices might lead to getting deeper into something you know is bad for you.By Paul Colaianni

1
The big life lessons that can change everything for the better 31:46

2M ago31:46

31:46

There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards for such a leap can mean the difference between living a full life or one restricted by fear and uncertainty.…

1
Am I really the problem? 48:44

2M ago48:44

48:44

If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we need to address that right away.By Paul Colaianni

1
Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm? 48:33

2M ago48:33

48:33

What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship warfare? Good question!By Paul Colaianni

1
Why abusive people need to maintain power and control over you 42:40

2M ago42:40

42:40

Some people just won't stop being hurtful. Why won't they stop? Are they just terrible people we have to accept and move on? Power and control is their M.O. and it's important you know why. For some there is hope. For others, well, it may take a lot more than hope to see change. https://loveandabuse.com…

1
Decluttering the overwhelmed brain 40:50

2M ago40:50

40:50

If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode that strays away from the norm, but hey, out of eleven years of doing this show, one off the beaten path isn't going to hurt.…

1
When empathy is used against you 37:35

3M ago37:35

37:35

Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those people today.By Paul Colaianni

1
Those who hurt you have poor coping skills so give them a break... right? 44:23

3M ago44:23

44:23

Hurt people hurt people, so we should have compassion when they hurt us, right? You know the answer and I know the answer. How does the person who is hurting you start to change and heal, though? Lots to unpack here.By Paul Colaianni

1
What can keep you stuck with the same results over and over again 47:26

3M ago47:26

47:26

Our childhood coping mechanisms shape our adult relationships. Sometimes the old fears keep us from moving into new, better territory, keeping us stuck where we are.By Paul Colaianni

1
The gradual shift from who you were to who you became in the emotionally abusive relationship 49:13

3M ago49:13

49:13

The person you were before the difficult relationship almost always looks and feels different than the person you became while in the difficult relationship. And losing that part of yourself may make you think there's no way back. Sometimes, you can't even remember who you used to be.

1
Washing your hands of a problem that won't go away 38:05

3M ago38:05

38:05

Some problems won't go away until you walk away from them. But walking away can be hard... sometimes impossible. And sometimes it involves sacrifice. And is walking away the only answer?By Paul Colaianni

1
The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship 39:47

3M ago39:47

39:47

Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to receive it instead of trying to build it from the ground up?By Paul Colaianni

1
Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people 1:10:20

3M ago1:10:20

1:10:20

You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lot of thoughts and lessons we can learn what we can do, if anything, when the other person in your life is making things unnecessarily harder.…

1
The growing resentment that can build when their hurtful behaviors never end 48:04

4M ago48:04

48:04

When someone keeps hurting you, you might blame yourself and think if you were only better, they'd stop. But as their hurtful behavior continues, resentment builds and you start questioning everything about yourself.

1
The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable 42:51

4M ago42:51

42:51

When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today.By Paul Colaianni

1
The people who avoid you 29:21

4M ago29:21

29:21

Are you trying to reconnect with someone who’s unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with others who seem like all they care about is avoiding you.By Paul Colaianni

1
The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy 44:31

4M ago44:31

44:31

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someone you just can't seem to fully accept.By Paul Colaianni

1
How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness 57:15

4M ago57:15

57:15

How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different responses in the future. If it were only that easy.By Paul Colaianni

1
Are you the reason someone is hurtful to you? 29:47

5M ago29:47

29:47

What is the cause of mistreatment in a relationship? Do you think it's possible you are reason someone is hurting you or trying to change you? If so, you need to listen to this episode. There are many reasons this is happening, but...By Paul Colaianni

1
The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless 45:02

5M ago45:02

45:02

Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do?By Paul Colaianni

1
Can you heal from the big reveal of your partner's past? 36:13

5M ago36:13

36:13

So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do about it. Can you get over it? Will you ever look at them the same way again? I tackle that specific issue in this episode.…

Podcasts Worth a Listen

Paul Colaianni Podcasts

Podcasts Worth a Listen

1
The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni

1
Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

1
Life isn't exactly fulfilling when you are holding on to upset toward someone 31:03

1
Trying to figure out who the emotionally abusive person really is in the relationship 42:09

1
Stay in control or let it go? 42:55

1
The games our loved ones play 38:22

1
What is love? 53:49

1
When a relationship is not a relationship 25:22

1
Never put your faith in anyone who makes you feel unworthy 27:58

1
When every argument is petty and unresolved 38:54

1
Don't lock yourself into a worse situation 32:10

1
The big life lessons that can change everything for the better 31:46

1
Am I really the problem? 48:44

1
Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm? 48:33

1
Why abusive people need to maintain power and control over you 42:40

1
Decluttering the overwhelmed brain 40:50

1
When empathy is used against you 37:35

1
Those who hurt you have poor coping skills so give them a break... right? 44:23

1
What can keep you stuck with the same results over and over again 47:26

1
The gradual shift from who you were to who you became in the emotionally abusive relationship 49:13

1
Washing your hands of a problem that won't go away 38:05

1
The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship 39:47

1
Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people 1:10:20

1
The growing resentment that can build when their hurtful behaviors never end 48:04

1
The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable 42:51

1
The people who avoid you 29:21

1
The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy 44:31

1
How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness 57:15

1
Are you the reason someone is hurtful to you? 29:47

1
The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless 45:02

1
Can you heal from the big reveal of your partner's past? 36:13