Just spend five minutes on Instagram or at a junior tournament and you’ll see it: kids and players feeling the weight of having to prove themselves.

Prove they’re good enough.Prove they belong.Prove that all the time, money, and sacrifice has been worth it.

Golf has always been a tough sport. But today’s junior golfers are competing in a world that magnifies pressure. Every round is tracked. Every score is posted. Every move can be judged in real time—online or off. The result? More golfers are tying their identity to their performance. And that’s a heavy way to play.

What “Nothing to Prove” Really Means

This mindset doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you stop chasing validation.You’re no longer trying to earn your worth through your scores.

When you feel like you need to prove something, you don’t just tighten up mentally—you react physically. Your body goes into fight-flight-freeze mode.

* You overthink

* Your muscles tense

* Your breathing shortens

* Your decisiveness slow down

* And your confidence shrinks

You’ve probably seen it on the first tee or during a clutch putt. A junior who’s been striping it on the range suddenly looking like a beginner when they begin their tournament. That’s not talent disappearing. That’s pressure hijacking performance.

FOPO—Fear of People’s Opinions—is a concept written by Dr. Michael Gervais in his book, The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying What Other People Think of You. In this book, he shows how this fear has become one of the most damaging mental traps in youth sports, shaping how young athletes see themselves and perform under pressure.

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The Trap of a Performance-Based Identity

Many elite juniors don’t realize it, but they’re building an identity based on results. When they play well, they feel worthy. When they play poorly, they question everything.

The stakes feel high because they are high. Parents are watching. Coaches are watching. College recruiters are watching. Social media is watching.

But here’s the problem:When self-worth is on the line, freedom disappears.Golf becomes something to survive instead of something to explore.

That’s when athletes play not to mess up, not to make mistakes… rather than playing to play great… playing to play their best.

A Purpose-Based Mental Shift

Now imagine a different mindset. One grounded in purpose, not pressure.You’re not trying to prove something—you’re trying to live out something.You compete because you love the game, you love the challenge, and you want to keep growing.

That’s the shift elite golfers like Scottie Scheffler talks about.He doesn’t just play to win. He plays with a deeper purpose, which helps him detach from outcomes.He’s still competitive—but not trapped in trying to get other people’s approval or playing in a proving mode.

I’ve seen this firsthand in my work.One of my pros was stuck in a spiral of missed putts and fear of failure began to creep in. We shifted his focus to this mantra: “It’s okay to miss.”

He started to relax.The fear faded.And the yips disappeared.

Why this Works: The Psychology Behind It

Research shows why this works.It’s called the Spotlight Effect and tells us that we think people are paying more attention to our mistakes than they really are. It’s like when you go to a party and you think everyone is watching you or thinking about you when you enter the room. But in reality, most people are too caught up in their own world to even care or to track your every thought or every stroke on the course.

And what about confidence? Confidence is not something you wait around for to feel. It’s something you build through your behaviors and action.

* You swing with commitment.

* You speak to yourself with belief.

* You recover with resilience.

Confidence follows action.

Now Try This

Ask yourself:

* Who are you trying to impress right now?

* What would change if you stopped needing approval?

* When was the last time you played great because you didn’t care who was watching?

* What is the cost of trying to prove something every time you tee it up?

* If you really believed you had nothing to prove, how would you walk, talk, swing, and recover from mistakes?

Golf is something you do. It’s not who you are.

You’re not your score. You’re not your ranking. You’re not your scholarship offer. When you start living like that—when you actually believe it—you play with more freedom. You will swing better. Think clearer. And you will bounce back must faster.

Because you’re not performing to be enough. You already are.

And that’s the mindset that wins in the long run.

A Resource For Parents:

This message isn’t just for athletes.Parents—how you talk about the game also matters in this effort to build a Nothing To Prove mindset with your players.

* Do your questions after rounds build pressure or provide support to your players?

* Do you focus more on scorecards or effort?

* Are you helping your golfer find purpose—or setting them up to perform to please?

Just think about your conversations after a competitive round, typically on their car ride home with you. Your golfer does not need another coach on the car ride home. Most often times, they need a parent to love and support them unconditionally - to help them build confidence, self-esteem, and a mindset that will win in the long run. This identity is build not on performance, but on feeling and believing that they are enough just as they are.

On the car ride home, listen. Simply be present with them no matter what they are feeling. And just remember they need you more as a parent than any other role that you can play. It is your voice they will internalize within themselves for years to come. And when they believe they already matter. When they believe they are enough, they will stop trying to earn it through the game.

Your Mental Coach,

-Dr. Mat

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