Grief is an inevitable part of divorce, but the shame and judgment that often accompany it? Those are completely optional. In this episode, I explore why so many of us pile unnecessary suffering onto our natural grief during divorce—whether it's shame about past behaviors, feeling we weren't "enough," or guilt about hurting others, especially our children.
Drawing on the Buddhist story of the two arrows, I explain how when we layer shame and judgment onto grief, we actually block the very healing process we're trying to move through. The solution isn't to avoid grief, but to approach it with self-compassion instead of criticism.
I share a practical three-step self-compassion practice that you can use whenever that mean inner voice starts berating you about your divorce. This isn't about giving yourself a free pass—it's about creating the emotional safety needed to actually feel and process your grief without the additional burden of shame.
As someone who's walked this path, I know firsthand how religion, family expectations, and our own perfectionism can make divorce feel not just painful but shameful. But I also know the liberation that comes when we drop that second arrow and simply allow ourselves to grieve with kindness. Your healing doesn't require suffering—it requires feeling, with compassion, exactly as you are.
Ready to get off the emotional rollercoaster of divorce? Download my free guide "What to Expect During Divorce" through the link in the show notes and start feeling more grounded today.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep223

To download your FREE GUIDE: "What to Expect When Divorcing: The Ultimate Guide to Dealing with the Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce" click here.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

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