“Calm down” never calms anyone down. Andrew and Cat share practical, under-a-minute techniques from their Quick Calm Method—tools you can use at work, in traffic, or mid–dinner chaos to regulate your nervous system fast (without a 60-minute meditation).

Big ideas

• Co-regulation beats commands. “Breathe with me” works; “calm down” doesn’t.
• Not all “wellness” fits all bodies. For ~30% of people, traditional meditation or cold plunges can spike anxiety; choose nervous-system-friendly options that work for you.
• You can flip a day in 60 seconds. Micro-resets interrupt spirals and change the tone for you (and everyone around you).

The Quick Calm Method (highlights from the episode)

1. Breath Reset (Box Breathing, etc.)
2. Short, shallow breaths tell your brain there’s danger. Slow, counted exhales flip you back into rest-and-digest. Great solo—or co-regulate by breathing together.
3. Cat used this walking from the car to the apartment—under a minute—to avoid snapping and stay “safe space” for her son.
4. Grounding Reset
5. Get out of your head and into your senses (sight, sound, touch). Anchors you to reality when the mind starts catastrophizing.
6. Body Reset
7. Stress lives in your muscles. Quick, discrete movements (yes, even a tiny office-friendly “shake out”) discharge that pent-up energy so it doesn’t leak out as irritability. Cue the giggles.
8. Mini-Meditation Reset
9. A guided 60–120s visualization to power-wash mental noise. Works for many; if meditation ramps you up, skip it and use breath/grounding instead.
10. Laughter Reset
11. Fake a laugh to spark a real one, recall a reliably funny clip, or replay a personal “can’t-not-laugh” memory. Physiology shifts, chemistry follows.

Want the step-by-step videos? Get the course: fiveyearyou.com/calm

When to use which

• Rising irritability / about to walk into a meeting: Breath Reset → Grounding (2–3 min total)
• Anger with lots of body tension: Body Reset, then Breath (2–4 min)
• Spiral/rumination loop: Grounding → Mini-Meditation (2–3 min)
• Household mood reset: Laughter Reset + 30-second family dance (1–2 min)

Micro-scripts that help

• “I want to hear you. Can we take 4 slow breaths together first?”
• “I’m doing a quick reset so I can respond, not react.”
• “Let’s turn the day around.” (spin, shake, smile—pattern interrupt!)

Glimmers

• Andrew: Loving the Pulsetto vagus-nerve stim—paired with our resets, I’m noticeably calmer day-to-day.
• Cat: First real fall day in Chicago—cool walks, crunchy leaves, instant nervous-system sigh. 🍂

Links & extras

• Quick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes total): fiveyearyou.com/calm
• Email us what worked for you: [email protected]
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)