Today I speak with AudreyTricot who has 20 years of experience in mediation and conflict resolutions - helping people listen to each other and find win-win solutions. I loved our conversation for so many reasons but my favorite part is the hiply bubble, a way to use hiply as a foundation, as a safe space, if you will, in conflict situations, can create a safety net for healthy discussions and resolutions. Healthy communication is paramount.

Because when we learn to have healthy conflict and resolutions we not only heal ourselves but help heal the world. Join me in making a difference, one hiply moment at a time.

We talk about Glasl's Stages of conflict escalation and the importance of healthy conflict and using simple communication for conflict resolution. The words we use matter, let's be conscious of our words, fighting words escalate, how can we de-escalate?

Conflict is not always something you want to avoid, there would be no peace without war, but how you go into it is important.

Rules - For the Hiply Bubble

Step back, regulate slightly, check how the other person is (intuitively), is the other person able to listen to you? Both people need to be voluntarily willing to be in the conversation. For a mediated conversation make sure that each person talks for themselves (I statements and facts). Don't interrupt. Wait then ask questions. Maybe use a timer. Deep listening with the only intention to reduce the other person's tar. I'm feeling tarry, please help (is a call for help and a call for space and to be heard). It's a respectful conversation.

It's really interesting to question where you stand with conflict as a person, does it bring you energy or drain your energy. Do you shut down, back away, people please? Loose your voice, or are you more proactive, ready to go there. Are you conflict avoidant? Do you need help bringing up tense conversations?

In mediation it's okay to disagree but you have to agree on the fact that you are disagreeing. Then there's a way to move on, they can start building solutions, win wins, get creative, try something new. What would we do if we had a magic wand?

5 steps in the mediation/conflict resolutions circle -

The What - what is happening, The Why - why did we get there, The Agreement Step - agree to disagree, The Magic Wand Step, The Actions - how do we do this in real life.

We talk about Non Violent Communication (NVC) and how it inspired some of the Hiply Rules, Tools and Concepts. It starts with Facts, which is so hard because the emotions and wanting to be right is all mixed up in it.

Audrey's tip to work through tarry feelings: that first breath, awareness, take a step and breathe.

Resources:

Audreytricot.com

Claudia Williams

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If you'd like to be on the podcast either as a guest to practice Hiply and to get a little coaching from Claudia or as an expert, please email us at: [email protected]

Making a difference, one Hiply moment at a time.

Episodes released every Tuesdays.
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