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It's Not Fair! Mastering the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip
Manage episode 460003737 series 3604249
Dr. Morgan Cutlip is a relationship expert who knows what it feels like to lose yourself in motherhood, and she’s committed to helping moms navigate it better. In this episode, we do a deep dive into the mental load, intensive parenting, and the great expectations of modern motherhood.
Morgan shares what you can do on the toilet to improve your life, why stuffing your needs typically backfires, and how partners can close the gap when the division of labor feels out of whack.
It's a great conversation starter for couples around fairness, embracing differences, and how to carry the weight of it all better, together.
LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE:
1) what it means to "go mom yourself"
2) what informs our expectations around marriage and parenthood, and why we need to give them a second look
3) ways to share the load with a partner who travels, or if you have odd or variable schedules
4) how to help kids see and do some of the "invisible work" in a family
5) the Surgeon General's advisory on extreme parental stress and practical ways to cope better
LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS:
Follow Morgan for practical relationship tips on Instagram, or visit her website for more resources!
You can also pre-order her latest book on the mental load for couples, A Better Share, or grab a copy of her first book for moms, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself.
Here's a link to the full report we mentioned at the end of the episode: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents
Note: If you purchase her book(s) using my Amazon affiliate links above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.
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Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff?
Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings.
Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network.
*Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.
Chapters
1. It's Not Fair! Mastering the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip (00:00:00)
2. Episode Preview (00:00:06)
3. Podcast Intro (00:00:52)
4. Guest Intro - Dr. Morgan Cutlip (00:01:28)
5. Go Mom Yourself (00:02:28)
6. What if We Mother Our Kids the Way We Mother Ourselves (00:03:52)
7. Unmet Needs (00:05:12)
8. Great Expectations of Motherhood (00:06:16)
9. Sharing Your Needs with Your Partner (00:12:17)
10. Scanners and Family Managers (00:17:28)
11. Increasing Their Know (00:20:44)
12. Give Them Time To Find Their Own Way (00:25:26)
13. The Trash Can Battleground (00:26:10)
14. Proactive vs. Reactive - Meeting in the Middle (00:29:06)
15. Appreciating Differences (00:30:26)
16. Societal Expectations + Gender Differences (00:31:32)
17. Crafting Your Own Family Dynamic (00:36:19)
18. Sharing the Load with a Traveling Spouse or Weird Schedules (00:38:35)
19. Helping Kids Begin to "See" The Invisible Work (00:45:19)
20. Not 50/50, But Fair (00:48:48)
21. Advisory: "Parents Under Pressure" (00:51:44)
22. The State of Parenthood Today (00:54:00)
23. Intensive Parenting (00:54:57)
24. The "True Enemy" (00:56:12)
25. Daily Self-Check-In (00:57:31)
26. Final Thoughts (00:59:08)
27. Connect with Dr. Morgan (01:00:36)
28. Podcast Outro (01:01:07)
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