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What are you desperately holding onto that's slowly destroying you? In this deeply vulnerable episode, I take listeners on a journey through two personal stories that highlight the destructive patterns of chasing things that hurt us.
First, I share the painful saga of a 20-year friendship with someone I considered my best friend. Despite his constant body-shaming comments and verbal abuse that repeatedly damaged my self-esteem, I kept investing in the relationship. It followed the classic cycle of abuse—hurtful behavior, apology, honeymoon period, then back to abuse—until it finally ended after a public humiliation during a motorcycle trip to Canada. The question that haunts me: why did I chase this destructive relationship for so long?
Then, I open up about my current struggle with potentially selling my motorcycle. Due to an eye condition stemming from law enforcement stress, riding is no longer safe. Yet this motorcycle represents the last tangible connection to my former identity as a police officer—an identity I didn't choose to give up. The tragedy of my friend's son becoming permanently paralyzed in a motocross accident has amplified the reality that holding onto this part of myself isn't worth risking my life and leaving my family without a father.
This raw conversation explores the concept of "chasing"—whether it's toxic relationships, outdated identities, external validation, or perfection. Drawing from my experience delivering death notifications as a police officer, I remind listeners of life's fragility and why we must stop investing in things that destroy us.
If you're holding onto something that continues to hurt you—a relationship, job, identity, or habit—this episode might just give you the permission you need to finally let go and make room for something better. Because sometimes, what we're most afraid to release is exactly what's keeping us from moving forward.

Gift For You!!! Murders to Music will be releasing "SNAPSHOTS" periodcally to keep you entertained throughout the week! Snapshots will be short, concise bonus episodes containing funny stories, tid bits of brilliance and magical moments!!! Give them a listen and keep up on the tea!

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