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This is definitely one of those worst first moments so next time I hear it, just write it. The worst that can happen is that you can read it & immediately realize just how awful violence is that makes something so simple as "writing what you hear" (note-taking) impossible because the sensory would be too much? I wrote out what I am concerned about. Since that isn't going to happen---an overload of sensory since I got ahead of it by validating it.

What would suicide solve? Other people's happiness MATTERS MOST (since they'll stop doing what they're doing to you) & their voices start winning because of the countless contradictions that will never end. Why someone who is reliable, trustworthy & safe is priceless. ADD GRATITUDE & all of a sudden, it instantly ends ptsd. Feedback. Objectives. Standards. Goals. No wonder teaching was what previously contained all that ptsd---every day is a new day---so let's just tackle suicide head on.

I was unaware that I had it, but only because I had flipped it into a future. So if that's the key---what are you going to become one day?---that's what removes it all. A future. Trauma WILL fall.

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