#185 Engaging With Our Stuff: Why We Keep Things But Don’t Use Them, With Dr Jan Eppingstall That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding podcast

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#185 Engaging with our stuff: why we keep things but don’t use them, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

1d ago 1:14:19

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In this episode, I’m with Dr Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor and hoarding expert extraordinaire. We unpack the concept of engaging with our belongings - actually seeing, touching, and using the things we tend to accumulate, rather than letting them fade into the background. Jan shares insights from her work, explains why we often feel safer just owning stuff instead of interacting with it, and offers practical ways to build a healthier, more intentional relationship with what we own. There are some genuinely enlightening moments, and plenty of ideas for anyone looking to break free from an excess of stuff.

Defining "Engaging with Our Stuff"
What it means to actually engage with possessions (seeing, touching, using)
Comparison to possessions fading into the background
The idea of using versus just possessing objects
Patterns of Engagement Among People Who Hoard
Sense of safety from being surrounded by possessions without interaction
Only the "top layer" of possessions typically being used
Loss of intention behind keeping sentimental or useful items
The psychological comfort of having versus using objects
Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Compulsive Hoarding
Emotional connection to the potential of objects rather than actual objects
Avoidance of decision-making by not engaging/touching items
Security and reassurance derived from the mere presence of items
Defeatism and pointlessness associated with searching for or using objects
Barriers to Engaging with Possessions
Overwhelm from the sheer volume of stuff
Active resistance and avoidance behaviours
Feelings of incompetence and adaptation through purchasing duplicates
Guilt associated with over-accumulation
Benefits of Actively Engaging with Possessions
Rediscovering useful or wanted items when sorting
Increased awareness of what is owned and where it is
Neurological and psychological benefits of tactile interaction
Insights gained from using and trying on items (e.g., clothing)
Decision-making as a muscle that strengthens with practice
Realisations about unnecessary duplicates (e.g., multiple ladles in the kitchen)
Emotional and practical hurdles in finding homes for items
Perfectionism and rigidity around item placement and organisation
Moving, Arranging, and Re-organising Possessions
Resistance to moving items from "their place" due to tradition, attachment, or perfectionism
Fear of forgetting where things are if organisational changes are made
Multi-step decision fatigue when organising
The importance of flexible, evolving systems for item placement
Confronting Avoidance and Overwhelm
The value of small steps, e.g., simply looking into an avoided bag or space
The myth of a “good reason” for keeping certain items, often dispelled when items are revisited
Developing Healthier, More Intentional Relationships with Stuff
Introducing intention and ritual to everyday interactions with possessions
“Rotation stations” and seasonal evaluation/rituals
Benefits of conscious handling, organisation, and maintenance
Cultural Perspectives and Practices
Japanese concepts:
Te Ate: hand-care, tactile connection as a ritual
Mushiboshi: seasonal airing and assessment of items
Ma: meaningful emptiness/space as a source of tranquillity
Contrasts between Western consumerism and other cultural approaches to possessions
Challenges and Solutions in Organising and Letting Go
The impact of spatial processing or organisational difficulties
Accepting that resistance to change is sometimes due to overwhelm
Personalisation and Flexibility in Managing Possessions
Tailoring organisation and engagement to one’s own needs, routines, and neurodiversity
Maximalism and the need for varying levels of stimulus—distinguishing between maximalism and chaos
Allowing spaces to be intentionally clear, embracing the benefits of emptiness
The ongoing journey of developing intentionality with possessions
The importance of kindness and patience with oneself in making these changes

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