Today we’re exploring the skill that ambitious, anxious brains often resist: self-compassion. You’ll hear attorney Mark Goldstein’s candid story of OCD, depression, panic attacks, and the leave of absence that helped him rebuild a career and a life with support, therapy, mindfulness, and (yes) compassion. Then, Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneer of self-compassion research, teaches practical tools you can use today. We cover how to handle rumination, reframe “perfection” into being a “compassionate mess,” and when to turn on fierce self-protection versus tender care. If you hold yourself to impossible standards, this conversation will give you language, strategies, and permission to be human and still perform.

In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why self-compassion is a performance skill for anxious achievers.

02:00 Learn from Mark Goldstein on perfectionism, OCD, and the billable-hour trap.

05:45 “I couldn’t stop checking”: the 2017 spiral and panic attacks.

09:30 When did you decide you needed help and where did you start?

13:00 Taking a leave of absence, the fear of perception, and the reality of support.

18:45 Reframing “weakness” and treating mental health as a disability.

21:00 Dr. Kristin Neff on why our brains default to self-criticism.

23:30 The hack to turn caregiving inward.

25:15 Tips for practical self-talk (authentic compassion, NOT empty affirmations.)

27:30 When to deploy fierce vs. tender compassion and harnessing anger for protection.

30:00 How to stop rumination.

32:15 How to create room for compassion and grow without fear.

Resources + Links

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam