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In this episode of The Introverted Obelisk, we wander into the creaky corridors of The Monster Walks (1932), a Poverty Row relic that proves sometimes the scariest thing about a horror movie is its production budget. Promising a terrifying beast on the loose, the film delivers…a chimpanzee in a cage, a thunderstorm soundtrack on repeat, and a script that stumbles more than it walks.

I walk you through the usual “old dark house” playbook: the stormy night, the reading of the will, greedy relatives eyeing the inheritance, and a butler who looks suspicious by contract. The supposed monster rattles his bars for dramatic effect while the humans do all the murdering, which is less “Creature Feature” and more “Family Feud with a Body Count.”

Along the way we talk about the appeal of these cheap Gothic mysteries and how the true monsters are never the apes but the grasping cousins with dollar signs in their eyes.

It’s atmospheric, it’s threadbare, and it’s unintentionally hilarious — a film where the monster barely moves but the clichés sprint past at record speed.

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24 episodes