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If people-pleasing really worked, why does it leave lawyers so depleted? Learn how people-pleasing shows up in law and what it looks like to replace it with self-trust.
Ever find yourself saying “yes” when your whole body is screaming “no”? Staying late, smoothing things over, volunteering when you’re already stretched thin because you don’t want to risk tension or look unhelpful?
In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the quietest (and most rewarded) causes of burnout in law: people-pleasing. We’ll look at how this reflex starts long before law school, why it feels like safety to your brain, and how it slowly erodes your self-trust and energy.
You’ll learn:
- Why people-pleasing isn’t kindness; it’s a safety strategy your brain learned early on
- How the culture of law turns people-pleasing into a badge of success
- The hidden cost of chasing approval at work (and at home)
- What the opposite of people-pleasing really looks like: boundaries, internal safety, and self-trust
- A simple tool: Fact vs. Thought to pause the reflex and reclaim your choice
- Word-for-word scripts you can try when you want to say “no” without guilt
We also talk about how this pattern shows up in early life, how easily it carries into law, and what begins to shift when you stop managing other people’s perceptions and start rebuilding trust in yourself.
If you’ve ever been called “the reliable one” at work but secretly feel like you’re running on empty, this episode will help you step out of the approval loop and start practicing law in a way that includes you in the equation.
Want more support?
- Ready to stop people-pleasing and start practicing law from self-trust instead of fear? Book a free call with me at heathermillscoaching.com/call. We’ll look at where you might be caught in patterns that once made sense but no longer serve you, and map out your next step toward deeper self-trust.
- Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn: Get weekly tips, mindset shifts, and behind-the-scenes support for your burnout recovery.
Full Show Notes, Episode Transcript, Plus More Resources for Women in Law:
023 Lawyer Burnout Is Real: My Story and Why This Podcast Exists
https://www.heathermillscoaching.com/blog/023-why-people-pleasing-drains-lawyers
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