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When betrayal shatters trust in a relationship, the cultural script is clear: there's a victim and a perpetrator. But what if we've been thinking about affairs all wrong?
Master Imago therapist Gene Shelley guides us through a profound reframing of infidelity that moves beyond blame and judgment. With decades of clinical experience helping couples navigate the aftermath of affairs, Gene offers a compassionate perspective on what's really happening beneath the surface when someone betrays their partner.
"Affairs are not really affairs," Gene explains. "They're an acting out of unmet needs in a ruptured relationship." This thought-provoking conversation explores how our earliest attachment wounds shape our adult relationships, creating vulnerabilities that can lead to betrayal when pain goes unexpressed or unheard.
For anyone who has experienced the devastation of infidelity – whether you were betrayed or the one who strayed – this episode provides a framework for understanding that doesn't excuse the behavior but illuminates the path toward healing. Gene walks us through how couples can recover trust, establish meaningful boundaries, and potentially build even stronger connections after betrayal.
This conversation challenges conventional wisdom about affairs while offering practical insights about the recovery process. You'll learn why checking your partner's phone rarely leads to genuine healing, how friends and family often unintentionally keep hurt partners stuck in victim mode, and why approximately 50-60% of relationships experience infidelity despite the stigma and secrecy surrounding it.
Whether you're working to rebuild after betrayal or simply want to strengthen your relationship's resilience against future ruptures, Gene's wisdom offers a compassionate roadmap toward deeper understanding and connection. Listen now to transform your perspective on what affairs really mean and how relationships can not only survive but thrive after betrayal.

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Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!