EP 79: Leading with Curiosity and Cultivating Authentic Connections with Toni Herbine-Blank, MS, RN, C-SP

The Unburdened Leader

Content provided by Rebecca Ching, LMFT, Rebecca Ching, and LMFT. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Rebecca Ching, LMFT, Rebecca Ching, and LMFT or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://staging.podcastplayer.com/legal.

2y ago 1:14:25

MP3•Episode home

Conflict and discomfort are inevitable–in all areas of our work and life.

Now, most of us carry some kind of relational or betrayal trauma.

And these burdens impact how we lead and move through conflict, discomfort, and difference.

So when a rupture happens, there is often a rush to find comfort with some kind of a bid for repair. But if we do not do the work to reflect on our own systems’ needs first, we can end up doing more harm and continue to feel hooked by a situation.

Without this internal reflection, we can often default to actions that result in the opposite of our desired intention.

But this work gives us more choices and when we have more choices, we are less likely to feel trapped, panicked, and stuck.

And when we feel like we have more agency in our relationships, we feel more connected and close to those we lead and love.

Toni Herbine-Blank is the founder and director of the Intimacy from the Inside Out© training programs. She is a senior trainer for IFS-I and has been developing curriculum for the application of IFS to couples therapy for many years. She teaches nationally and internationally, delivering workshops and trainings for therapists interested in using IFS with multiple systems. She has co-authored two books on her methodology and enjoys time with her partner and her animals in the mountains of Durango, Colorado where she lives.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Why the ability to differentiate ourselves from our partnerships is necessary for connection
Why the Intimacy from the Inside Out process starts with a U-turn toward the self
How the U-turn subverts the protective urge to blame and shame in moments of conflict
How our early wounds around getting our needs met impact our adult relationships
Why shame is the most common source of relationship rupture
Why the existence of conflict in a relationship isn’t the problem, but the way we pursue repair can be

Learn more about Toni Herbine-Blank:

Website
Instagram: @intimacyinsideout

Learn more about Rebecca:

Resources:

Nonwhite and Woman: 131 Micro Essays on Being in the World

133 episodes

#Society #Conversations #Self-Improvement #Rebecca Ching, LMFT #LMFT #Rebecca Ching #Podcasting Education