If you think your growth problem is about tactics, targets, or team structure, this episode might sting, in the best way.

I’m joined by Emma Thompson, The Sales Therapist, who helps founders, leaders, and sales teams uncover the real issue: the story they’re telling themselves. She helps people face the thought behind their behaviour, not just the behaviour itself.

If your go-to-market team feels stuck, scared, or sabotaging progress, this one’s for you. Expect a few uncomfortable moments, the kind that lead to growth.

Emma doesn’t fix symptoms, she finds causes.

Procrastination, burnout, and perfectionism aren’t strategy problems, they’re protection mechanisms. Until you find the thought behind your behaviour, you’ll keep reacting and calling it leadership.

You’re not short on tactics. You’re short on insight.

Emma became a hypnotherapist and coach after confronting her own childhood conditioning. Her work helps clients separate who they were taught to be from who they choose to be.

Her process is built on one structure:
Thought → Feeling → Behaviour → Identity

Working backwards:

1. Identify the behaviour causing friction.

2. Find the feeling underneath it.

3. Trace it to the root thought or story you’re still running.

4. Question that story, mark it in red, and rewrite it.

Every human Emma works with carries some form of “I’m not enough.” Those stories form early, between ages 0 and 7, and quietly dictate your adult life until you rewrite them.

Perfectionism? A response to shame.
Control? A response to fear.
People-pleasing? A response to rejection.

Even a stable, loving childhood can script unrealistic expectations for how life and leadership “should” look.

Money: Childhood exposure to financial stress or “be humble” messaging leads to founders who fear being “too much.” They either hoard or overspend, both are control responses.

Conflict: We’re wired to see discomfort as danger. In business, it’s a growth signal. The more you face discomfort, the stronger your neural pathways for courage become.

Identity: Marcus and Emma explore five traps:

1. Confusing your role with your identity.

2. Performing self-awareness while staying defensive.

3. Worshipping willpower instead of rewiring the subconscious.

4. Waiting for perfection before acting.

5. Using trauma as fuel until it burns you.

A feeling lasts about 90 seconds. The thought beneath it keeps it alive.

When the wave hits, stop, breathe, and scan your body. Let the feeling fade before you think. Then ask: what thought started that?

You’ll notice logic always arrives second.

External praise bounces off if your internal narrative rejects it. Emma teaches clients to build an Evidence Shelf:

• External evidence: moments of positive feedback.

• Internal validation: self-statements in your own language (“I handled that well,” “I’m capable”).

Journaling reinforces these new beliefs. Handwriting engages more of the brain. Emma’s “I Am” prompts and Marcus’s favourite ABCDE model (by Dr. Albert Ellis) help rewrite the script:

• A: Activating event

• B: Belief

• C: Consequence

• D: Dispute

• E: Effect

The voice that says “this is woo-woo” is the voice keeping you small.

Improve by 0.1% a day and you’ll be 43% better in a year. That’s the compound effect of facing what’s uncomfortable.

Ask yourself:

1. What belief am I defending that no longer serves me?

2. Am I living by choice or conditioning?

3. What’s the emotional cost of staying the same?

4. Am I leading or just reacting with authority?

5. What part of me needs to heal so I can lead cleanly?

From Emma:

• Tell Yourself a Better Lie by Marisa Peer

• Podcast: The Six Minute Mind with Emma Thompson

• Guest: Dr. Tara Swart, neuroscientist

From Marcus:

• How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything, Yes Anything – Albert Ellis

• How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons – Albert Ellis

Emma and I will be running Founder Dependency Unlocked on 31st October 2025 (Halloween, 10 a.m. GMT).

The mindset that got you through startup survival won’t scale your company. Time to upgrade your emotional operating system, starting with the story you tell yourself.

Connect with Emma on LinkedIn or at www.emmathompsontherapy.com.

If this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Stay safe, and happy selling.