Here is what was covered in this episode:

• I got this request from a podcast listener! Let’s learn what codependency is, how it relates to attachment, and why we’re prone to it as relational creatures.

• Codependency is a condition where someone relies too much on another person in an unhealthy and self-destructive way.

• Human beings are wired to form attachments and relationships for survival. We are wired to attach, even to people that aren’t good for us.

• Codependency can feel like relationship addiction, but unlike other addictions, we need relationships to survive.

• Even people from healthy childhood backgrounds can fall into codependent relationships because everyone is wired to connect.

• Signs of codependency include prioritizing others’ needs over your own, losing a sense of self, feeling guilty for doing things for yourself, and needing your partner to feel happy.

• People may stay in harmful relationships because their neurobiology prefers attachment, even to unhealthy partners, over being alone.

• Childhood experiences, such as witnessing dysfunctional relationships, can shape our relationship patterns in adulthood.

• Codependent relationships are often filled with drama, emotional destruction, and cycles of extreme highs (honeymoon phases) followed by intense lows (drama and danger).

• The brain, particularly the amygdala, can drive unhealthy attachment by perceiving the potential loss of a relationship as a survival threat.

• Codependent relationships can trigger a constant need for reassurance and fear of abandonment, making it difficult to leave.

• It’s important to get therapy or coaching from someone who can be honest about the situation and help you break the cycle.

• Codependence Anonymous (CoDA) and 12-step programs can also be helpful in navigating these issues.

• Remind yourself that you deserve love, happiness, and safety, even if you don’t fully believe it at first. Start by telling yourself that you do deserve better.

Helpful Links:

• CODA
• Codependent No More