It only takes a second“, they say! That takes several seconds to say, but on a second to feel the reprecussions! Everyone hanging onto your every word wondering what you mean by that when you only read it in a instructional safety video on the internet. You know you’re right but you don’t want to explain why. You don’t want to relieve the horrible atrocities of stunt actors and car crashes and throwing dummies onto random piles of sharp metal bits. You’re protecting them from your fate. You can’t even look at a lawnmower without thinking how you’d would have to force your foot into it through a rube goldberg scheme of accidental and purposeful mayhem. You leave the words hanging. They eventually get back to their coffee. You get back to your nightmares.

Anyway, the safety officer wants us to watch a new video! They said it would only take a second, so get in the ampitheater everyone!

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