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Being the Scapegoat S*cks: Here's How to Break That Cycle

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Manage episode 475872134 series 3589271
Content provided by Torie Wiksell. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Torie Wiksell or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://staging.podcastplayer.com/legal.

In this episode, I’m diving into the complex and painful role of the scapegoat child in families with borderline or narcissistic parents. If you were always the one blamed for everything—while somehow also being expected to keep the peace—you’re not alone. I’m the scapegoat in my own family, and I know how exhausting and confusing it is.

Families like this often use your emotional reactions to reinforce the idea that you’re the problem—giving them a convenient excuse to avoid their own accountability. This toxic pattern runs deep, but there are ways to step out of the scapegoat role and start healing.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

  • What it really means to be the scapegoat in a family with BPD or NPD dynamics
  • Why your emotional responses are often used against you
  • How staying emotionally regulated helps you reclaim control
  • What happens when you stop playing the role—and how it forces the family system to shift

Want more tools for setting strong boundaries with a high-conflict parent? Check out my on-demand boundaries workshop at confidentboundaries.com/boundaries-workshop, and come join our supportive online community with weekly live coaching calls at confidentboundaries.com/join.

Want more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Sign up for Bonus Episodes:
confidentboundaries.com/bonusepisodes

Register for my free workshop, How to Set Boundaries with a BPD or NPD Parent:
confidentboundaries.com/boundariesworkshop

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Online Community: confidentboundaries.com/join

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Welcome & Workshop Announcement (00:00:00)

2. Community Updates & New Group Sessions (00:07:13)

3. Understanding the Scapegoat Role (00:10:15)

4. How Families Use Your Reactions (00:13:53)

5. Breaking Free: Emotional Regulation Strategies (00:17:03)

6. Finding Hope & Episode Closing (00:21:57)

42 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 475872134 series 3589271
Content provided by Torie Wiksell. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Torie Wiksell or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://staging.podcastplayer.com/legal.

In this episode, I’m diving into the complex and painful role of the scapegoat child in families with borderline or narcissistic parents. If you were always the one blamed for everything—while somehow also being expected to keep the peace—you’re not alone. I’m the scapegoat in my own family, and I know how exhausting and confusing it is.

Families like this often use your emotional reactions to reinforce the idea that you’re the problem—giving them a convenient excuse to avoid their own accountability. This toxic pattern runs deep, but there are ways to step out of the scapegoat role and start healing.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

  • What it really means to be the scapegoat in a family with BPD or NPD dynamics
  • Why your emotional responses are often used against you
  • How staying emotionally regulated helps you reclaim control
  • What happens when you stop playing the role—and how it forces the family system to shift

Want more tools for setting strong boundaries with a high-conflict parent? Check out my on-demand boundaries workshop at confidentboundaries.com/boundaries-workshop, and come join our supportive online community with weekly live coaching calls at confidentboundaries.com/join.

Want more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Sign up for Bonus Episodes:
confidentboundaries.com/bonusepisodes

Register for my free workshop, How to Set Boundaries with a BPD or NPD Parent:
confidentboundaries.com/boundariesworkshop

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Online Community: confidentboundaries.com/join

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Welcome & Workshop Announcement (00:00:00)

2. Community Updates & New Group Sessions (00:07:13)

3. Understanding the Scapegoat Role (00:10:15)

4. How Families Use Your Reactions (00:13:53)

5. Breaking Free: Emotional Regulation Strategies (00:17:03)

6. Finding Hope & Episode Closing (00:21:57)

42 episodes

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