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If you’ve ever found yourself thinking and thinking and thinking, turning a situation over in your mind like a Rubik’s cube, trying to find the right feeling, the right explanation, the right evidence that you’re safe or good or okay—this episode is for you.

Today on the podcast, we’re exploring one of the more confusing overlaps in mental health: the difference between anxiety and OCD, especially when it’s fueled by attachment wounds, a hyperactive mind, perfectionism, and a deeply wired need to feel “good enough” in your relationships.

This isn’t your typical diagnostic breakdown. Instead, we’re gently unpacking the function of your thoughts, because in many cases, what looks like anxiety is actually mental compulsions.

And when your nervous system has been shaped by early inconsistency, emotional attunement gaps, or rejection sensitivity, it makes sense that your brain might latch on to intrusive thoughts about:

  • Whether you upset someone
  • If you were “too much”
  • If your motives were pure enough
  • What a past interaction really meant

In this episode, I’ll walk you through:

  • How OCD hijacks your brain’s natural meaning-making system
  • Why high-functioning women with anxious or disorganized attachment often go undiagnosed
  • The difference between emotional processing vs compulsive rumination
  • What mental compulsions sound like (spoiler: they’re often praised as "self-awareness" or "empathy")
  • The science-backed treatment approaches that actually work: including ERP and compassion-based strategies

Plus, I’ll guide you through a closing reflection to help you practice sitting with uncertainty, the thing OCD tells you is unsafe, but your body needs to slowly learn to trust.

If this episode resonates, I hope it helps you feel seen. I created Hidden in Plain Sight for people like you. For those who’ve always cared deeply, thought too much, and tried too hard… without realizing how much of that effort was rooted in survival, not self.

You don’t need to keep earning your safety. You’re allowed to rest, to trust yourself, and to feel uncertain without needing to fix it.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Support the show

With warmth,

Dr. Lauren Schaefer

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8 episodes