How does growing up with a PDA sibling shape a child’s identity, needs, and voice? In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha explores the often overlooked experience of siblings in families raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA autism).

Drawing from her own family’s story and her experience as a parent coach, Amy shares:

• How PDA shapes family dynamics and sibling roles
  
  
• Personal reflections on her daughter Devi’s journey as the sister of a PDAer
  
  
• A breakdown of common survival roles and how they show up in siblings
  
  
• Gentle, actionable ways to name, validate, and repair sibling experiences in high-stress homes
  
  

The concept of survival roles—like the Hero, Mascot, Lost Child, and Scapegoat—has its roots in family systems theory. But in the context of parenting neurodivergent or trauma-impacted children, I lean on the work of Robyn Gobbel, especially in Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors. She reframes these roles as nervous system adaptations, not character flaws—helping us see them with more compassion and flexibility.

Whether you're a parent carrying guilt, a sibling seeking understanding, or a professional supporting PDA families, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and hope.

🎧 Tune in to learn how to better support all the children in your home - not just the one in crisis.

🔗 Free printable: “Invisible Roles in PDA Households” available at www.amykcoach.com

🟡 Next episode: A powerful conversation with Amy’s daughter Devi on what it’s really like growing up with a PDA sibling!

Resource/Citation:

Gobbel, Robyn. Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: The Neuroscience of Connection and Communication.

Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2023.